It factors down to putting organizational loyalty before any personal relationship in all such "marriage advice". Personal qualities that one would look for in genuine, loving relationships are steamrolled in favor of qualifications important to WT Corp. Which is more important for a woman: a man who is financially responsible and lovingly cares for his widowed mother and younger siblings, or a man who spends more money than he makes (because this system is soon to perish anyway) and wastes hours every month standing next to a WT litteratrash trolley and tells his family to "rely on Jehovah"?
Additional advice from WTland:
- When a new class of gilead would begin, there would be a Monday night program after the "family" botchtower study where each student/couple would give a brief introduction. There were lots of couples where they made it a point to mention that both of them wanting to go through gilead was pivotal to their establishing any relationship. There were some couples that established this in their first conversations upon meeting... and they were engaged and married just weeks later. These stories brought gasps from us bethelites. Personally, I was horrified because I had plenty of bethel roommates that I just didn't really like. Both of us having the similar desire to slave in bethel was no grounds for even a friendship. That was certainly one of the things that prevented me from getting married. If her desire to get into bethel or marry a bethelite was her strongest motivation to marry me, that could easily turn bad.
- I also remember in bethel when Losch had morning worship comments and "explained" how bethel brothers shouldn't get involved with sisters that weren't spiritual enough. He said that it might hurt to break up with someone you really think you love, but there are plenty of other spiritually qualified sisters out there that you can fall in love with just the same. He further added how there were brothers in bethel who lost their beloved wives in death but they went on to find new wives and came to love them just the same as their dead wives. This comment caused a stir for a while with all the wives as they imagined their husbands briefly mourning their death... but picking out their next wives at her funeral.
- On the other hand, I heard the story of a young bethelite asking Carey Barber about how to know whether a sister was "the right one." He responded, "Well, take her to the beach and see what you've got!" Yes, I could imagine him saying that.